September 27th, 2013


Thank you, my family

I can certainly feel grateful to my family. My parents helped pay for a huge portion of my college education and granted me a car and they are relatively supportive in my life goals. However, they (namely, my mom) have no understanding of love.

I think my brother and I, being raised in the US, do both love each other and our parents. Yet my parents have trouble loving each other and even us properly.

Since I was a child, my parents fought. They fought over things my brother did, things I did, things they did separately, and things they did to each other. It was at least weekly, if not a nightly occurrence. When I went to college, maybe I forgot about it. Maybe I didn't. I tried to watch a comedic play about two "crazy" couples and left in tears because that was my parents. Yet they weren't crazy. They just fought and hurt each other on a daily basis.

Then I moved back home and I was reminded of it again. This time, it was mostly me vs. my parents. The typical job and boyfriend type of fights. But this time, I learned through the fights my parents' true motives and I like to think that I've "tamed" them in regards to my issues. But that doesn't stop them from still fighting with each other (they've been married, what, like 30 years now??) and initially, I mediated, but how many hundreds of times can you fight about the same thing (with me explaining to each side what they other side really means)? I got a full-time job and I saw them less and that helped.

But now it's my brother's turn. Honestly... I can't imagine how much harder it might be for him because he's always felt inferior to me (not really sure why) and my mom loves to compare, of course. Then, she judges him based on incredibly fickle issues like his girlfriend's skin and his method of job-searching (well she makes legitimate points but you don't have to be a dick) and uh, like not responding to a text after FIFTEEN minutes. Her excuse is that she's sick. Well, she's already made all of us sick. And the real problem is that she accuses him (well all of us) of hating her and thinking she's worthless when that's what she thinks about herself. And yes, I have pointed all of this out to her many many many times.

So yeah. Thank you, my family. I hope I get some sleep tonight despite your yelling at each other.