December 10th, 2007


Here goes

This is hard to say because it's about someone that has access to this journal. But I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I've dreamed about it twice and I dunno, I'm getting scared and sad that it'll turn for the worse. In my dreams at least, there was a happy ending and I was glad that everything was all right again.

I might be wrong but I feel like one of my close friends is angry at me.

She's probably not actually angry but I know that there's a gap between us. It makes me so sad because we used to be really close, but just the distance of me being at college has taken its toll on us. I want to make it better but I don't know what to do. I don't want to force anything , but I don't want to do nothing either. I'm sure this happens all the time. In fact, friends come and go in my life all the time, but she's different. We've been friends for so long and she's shaped me in more ways than either she or I probably realize. It's funny that the things I used to complain about her are what I miss the most.

I'd call her up but I feel like I can imagine what'll happen. And it just makes me put off calling her simply due to that. I'm so scared and sad. I feel like I've regressed in social maturity or something. :/

I'll just hope for the best I guess.

If you figure it out, know that I'm not blaming anyone. I just miss you. That's all. I'm sorry for the jerky things I did without realizing them. I'm sorry that I'm not brave enough to call you and tell you these things on the phone or in person.

I'm sorry.